April 2020

21/04/2020

Sunbathing

Bonjour, cher Journal!

It is a bonne day!
This matin, we were all bronzage apres un nuit eating herbe.
Then l’humain kicked us all out and stole all our poop again. I do not comprendre. Elle est très étrange.
Apres matin, she made a new field and raked the old one with l’herse.
Stormy and moi tried to aider, but she made “shoo-shooo!” sounds and we had to go. 
I think “Shoo” is chaussure, but Stormy says I’m wrong and it means go away.
Apres, we were allowed in le gazon. 
I try mange l’aliment of the chickens, but… C’est entree bloqué!
Elle claims last time j’ai détruit the feeder.
She needs to get a sturdier mangeoire, so it won’t break when my sabot touches it. Je ne suis pas à blâmer pour la mauvaise qualité!
Why is it always ma faute?

Au revoir!

Timmy

P.S. Stormy is not right in le Tete.
I think he est homosexuel.
Très mauvais pour moi.

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

20/04/2020

livvy-blanket

Dear Diary,

Mum yelled at me.
REALLY loud.
All I wanted was cuddles, and she was sitting in front of the black clicky thing, so I walked over it to pat her face. Jezzy came too, and also walked over the clicky thing — and she let out this almighty scream and hollered at me.
At ME! (Jezzy too, but mostly me.)
What did I do? She has her paws on the clicky thing, why I can’t I have my paws on the clicky thing?
What is a “Novel”?
Is it a bad thing that half of it disappeared?
She was saying many, many bad words. Really bad words.
I hid in the blanket.
Later, she was okay. Said she had a backup, but that she lost edits.

Can I have cuddles now?

Best,
Livvy, disappearer of novels.

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

19/04/2020

Louise

Dear Diary,

I think it is unfair that we have to share this blog with all the other beasts.
I could post every day, because we find new poop every day, and this could be reported on!
Since we are outside and walking around, we have many things to report.
Worms.
Bugs.
Wasps.
Hornets.
Spiders.
Pasta.
Much pasta yesterday. And since it’s only Thelma and I, there is more to go around now!
Although I do miss those two little ones. 
The brown horse is trying very hard to make babies with the donkey. 
The donkey is not impressed at all and kicks him a lot.
He was so bad yesterday, the human took him on a long line and made him run in circles with a thing on his back for at least an hour. He was very sweaty afterward and left the donkey alone then.
She also put new posts in the field, but hasn’t put any of the white tape on it. Guess that will happen later.
Meanwhile, she says her hands still hurt and need to rest.
I guess she’ll do stuff again when they are better. Not that she’s doing nothing, but just…not as much it seems.
Well, I see there’s another poo pile to spread out. Gotta go!

Cluck!

Louise

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

18/04/2020

Yellow Eyes

Hi Diary,

Last night there was a bit of a thunderstorm. I wasn’t scared.
The yellow-eyed black cat is still hanging around and eating MY FOOD!
I am not impressed!
The human put out some pate that was not good for her anymore, and I tried to eat… and that black thing comes and tries to take it!
The human calls it “Not my cat”, so I guess that’s what his name is.
It was nice again this afternoon though, so I sunbathed on the doorstep.
The human was making some wood smaller and put some seeds in pots.
But that was pretty much all. I think it was because she still wasn’t feeling too good from the day before.

Yours,

Squeaky

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

17/04/2020

pile

Dear Diary,

Mum woke up and didn’t feel well today.
She made everything dark and just didn’t look right. She went outside, but then came in again and ran straight to the bathroom and made really funny noises.
Then she lay down on the sofa and pulled the fleeces over her.
We all knew something is wrong, so we made sure we keep her warm.
Even Pixie came and piled with Livvy and me. She didn’t even fight or grumble.
So we stayed like this most of the day, with mum getting up and running to the bathroom, then laying back down to sleep.
She felt better late afternoon, but for a while there… well. We weren’t sure.
She says it’s a migraine.
More like sleep sickness. 
Boy, she slept a LOT! Almost as much as we do!
Maybe she’s turning into a cat?
She went outside in the afternoon, and didn’t get back for a while. Apparently, because she had such a bad headache, she forgot to let the chickens out, but they managed to get the door open somehow. I take it neither Gaga, nor Sia are back and she fears the worst. She also made a new fence for the horses so they can eat grass.
But mostly, she needed lots, and lots of cuddles, which we provided in spades.

Best,

Jezzy, Nurse Extraoridinaire

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

16/04/2020

Oz Birthday Boy

Dear Diary,

Apparently it’s my birthday today!
18, she says.
Wow. I didn’t even know. But then, she’s not sure either, because I have two passports, and each has a different date on it. So I’m either 18 now, or in May. Who knows? But she celebrates it in April.
I got carrots and lots of cuddles, and some nice feed.
She also took some pictures of me, and gave me a nice brush.
But there was a downer.
Sia disappeared.
So now both of the little chickens are missing. We don’t know what happened to them.
Sia was with the other two in the morning and in the afternoon she was gone. 
I hope she turns up. She likes those two little chickens and is a bit heartbroken that they both disappeared. She thinks a hawk might have got them. 
I was too busy eating to pay attention to the chickens. Besides, not my job. I generally just ignore them.
Well, that’s it from me today.

Best,

Oz, the Birthday Boy

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

15/04/2020

serge-harrow

Hello, dear Diary!

It’s Louise, the indoor chicken!
So, the human was making a lot of noise again today. She had some vibrating thing she used on the outside chair, and it made a stink and noise and dust.
I got nosy, wondering what she’s doing, so I came to check it out.
There was no noise at the time, but I could hear her in the other side of the house, so I looked in on her. She might be trapped or something.
She YELLED at me!!
There I was, checking if she’s safe, and she yells at me!
Told me to get out, and that it’s not a chicken house, and…well, I left that room, but I thought may be the other side is the chicken house? So I went through that door and headed upstairs.
She grabbed me! I was half way up the stairs, and she grabs me from behind, with no warning!
Then she takes me outside, scolding me the whole time. I have no idea why. It’s such a nice chicken house!
Well, she closed the door and I couldn’t get in anymore. I watched for a while, but then the man came with the big tractor and raked up all of the field, so I was very busy after that, getting all the bugs he scared up.
Sia helped, but she said when she went out on the path this morning, and down toward the nice shady areas where the big trees are, the human was not happy and ran after her. She got grabbed too! And yelled at!
Today is grab and yell day, apparently.
I still want to move into the new chicken house.

Best,

Louise

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

14/04/2020

Hooves

Bonjour, cher journal!

Aujourd’hui le Farrier came!
He cut a lot off my sabots and it feels so much better now!
He was très late, and I kept going in and out of le pâturage all day long, it seems.
While l’humain was waiting, she lavage my oreilles again! And mon nez!
But it feels bien most of the time. She put huile de neem on them too, making them moins de démangeaisons, less itchy. 
And mes pieds are almost not aching now!
I did échapper again though, while she was in la maison. Les poulets don’t need all that food. Much better in mon ventre, my belly.
We were not allowed back sur l’herbe the whole day. I like grass much better than foin!
Oz had his sabots done too.

Bonne chance!

Timmy

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

13/04/2020

Laying Egg

Dear Diary,

I’m really worried about Gaga. She’s still not back. I fear the worst.
It was very cold last night, there was ice on our water this morning.
The human wasn’t up to much either, she said she has a little migraine and will give us food later, when she’s better.

I tend to hang out with Thelma and Louise a lot, but they have some odd ideas of fun.
Take Louise, for instance.
The human made nice boxes for egg laying…but no. Louise had to climb into the hay bale, between the hay and the cover, while the human was making food for the horses.
She had to stop so Louise could lay an egg.
Not much happening here today, it seems. The horses were sunbathing, and Thelma tried to climb on Timmy’s back. He didn’t like that at all!!

Best,

Sia

⋅ ⋅ No Comments

See more stories

Share

↑

© Silke Juppenlatz