Dear Diarrhoea,

Mum went shopping, and she brought back goodies for me.
At least I think it’s for me, because it’s all food. All food is mine.
Best of all, she brought squirty cream.
She chopped up strawberries (she can have those, I’m not keen) and then put squirty cream on them for me. It was obviously a plate to share.
Well, I figured since the strawberries are hers, I’ll get to work on the cream so she won’t have to eat it.
Boy, she got mad!
One little lick, and she goes ballistic. What’s all that about? It’s my cream, after all, brought for me!
Then she took the plate away and ate ALL of it!!!
Apparently she wanted the squirty cream herself.
At least she put some in the plate afterward. Pixie was helping and we gobbled it up together. Well, most of it. She took the plate and gave the rest to Livvy.
She says cream isn’t good for me, and that I make an unholy stink afterward. 
I do not stink!


Jezzy, the bottomless pit

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