Bum slaps. All day, every day. From anyone.
If you visit, you must bum slap me. It’s obligatory.
Dear Diary,
Yesterday evening someone puked into mum’s welly.
It wasn’t me.
I’m a good cat.
But if the bum slaps aren’t increasing, then I might have to do something rash. She’s seriously slacking. I’ve assumed the position repeatedly today, get one quick slap, and then she rushes off again to do something else.
What the hell is that about?
There are no visitors either, so I can’t even ambush anyone else.
And, omg, she clipped everyone’s claws!
I’m going to try to sit on her all night now. Maybe there will be bum slaps then. But when I tried earlier, she just fell asleep! I tried tapping her face with my paw, but that didn’t work either.
It’s not right.
I need this Q thing to finish, so people come again and I get bum slaps.
Yours,
Livvy, the neglected cat